“Instead of having a goal have a direction in which you want to travel.”
— The Minimalists
Inside Minimalism
Subscribe to Our Weekly Series
You can subscribe to become a member of our Inside Minimalism series brought to you by our dedicated team of writers. Subscribe for a year and save 50%.
Get the Book
If a subscription isn’t for you, you can still enjoy our series of essays on simple living by downloading Volume 1 containing a collection of 50 short essays.
→ Download the eBook or Order the Print Book
The Perfect Holiday Gift
Words by Alicia Woodward
My husband and I live deep in the woods where cell phone service isn't great. There is only one spot in our home where I can reliably get a good signal. No longer am I able to walk around the house and chat while I unload the dishwasher, cook dinner, or put away laundry. To avoid the frustration of a dropped call, I must sit down and simply converse. The situation has allowed me to experience the joy of being present.
This holiday season, most people need our presence more than our presents. Though it will probably be from a distance, being present offers the gift of our most precious time, energy, and attention.
11 Ways to Give Our Presence This Holiday Season
1. Let Go of Expectations. Even without a pandemic, the holiday season can struggle to live up to our commercially-driven expectations and standards. This year, instead of thinking about how we wish things were, let's focus on enjoying life exactly as it is.
2. Reach Out. Because of the virus, many people will spend the holidays alone. While we might be tempted to pull the covers over our head until next year, we need to reach out to people. A cheerful conversation remembering old times and looking ahead can do wonders for everyone's spirit.
3. Really Listen. Often when someone is talking, we're waiting to get in our two cents. Conversations require some back and forth, but don't be afraid of a little silence. Instead of thinking of our response, we can take that time to process what was said and respond directly to it by asking questions or clarifying the other person's words.
4. Pay Close Attention. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own world we don't really see the people we care about. Taking time to notice subtle, non-verbal communication shows we're tuned-in to the other person's feelings and gives us a chance to offer genuine compassion and empathy.
5. Cut Out Distractions. We all know the feeling of talking to someone who is clearly focused on something more important than your conversation. To really connect with someone, we must eliminate distractions so we can give them the gift of our full attention.
6. Dive Deep. This year we won't be attending any big holiday parties where small talk is most appropriate. Take advantage of smaller gatherings and phone calls to enjoy some conversation that goes beyond the weather and typical surface exchanges.
7. Make Eye-Contact. Looking at others warmly helps us be present and shows we are engaged and interested. Whether we're meeting in-person, on FaceTime, or a Zoom call, eye contact is a powerful way to demonstrate our care and respect.
8. Choose Mindful Activities. There's nothing wrong with having a family movie night, but it might not be the best way to spend quality time. Try a taking a walk together, playing a game, making a craft, or just talking over some hot chocolate.
9. Tune-In to Your Senses. One of the best ways to be more present is to become aware of your senses. Focusing on what we see, hear, taste, and feel can help us get out of our heads and into the moment. Twinkling lights, holiday music, a glowing fire, and delicious treats are all simple ways to enjoy being present.
10. Lend a Hand. If we listen and pay attention, we often find there is something we can do to help others. When at our home, both of our sons-in-law are wonderful at noticing what needs to be done and quietly doing it. Our presence is always appreciated when we lighten the load for someone else.
11. Give Love. It's been long year. On top of our individual cares, we're all worn out by the pandemic, natural disasters, and politics. The gift of our presence is a sincere and thoughtful way to put more love into the world this holiday season.
Paring Ideas
Words by Leo Babauta
As minimalists, we often talk about paring down possessions, and sometimes paring down what we do. But what about what we think?
Is there any use in paring down thinking? I’ve found myself doing this over time, in many areas.
My ideas about exercise have been simplified over the years. I used to worry about the ideal mileage, percentage of increase in mileage, intervals, reps and sets, weights and progression, lifts, workouts, programs… it was very complicated. But as I’ve learned more about fitness, I’ve dropped most of those ideas. I now know that none of that matters much, as I’ve let go of specific fitness goals. Now I just try to move on most days, and have fun doing it. I’ve dropped ideas about schedules, about programs, about loads and goals. I’m left with the simplest of ideas.
Same applies to diet. I used to worry about not eating grains, or soy, or processed foods, or fruits, or chemicals. Should I eat quinoa or steel-cut oats or amaranth or chia seeds or bulgur wheat or buckwheat? I used to count calories. Now I just try to eat real plant foods most of the time, and am mindful of my eating. It’s simpler this way.
About writing: I worried about structure and voice and style and terseness and grammar and schedules and tools and reading the best authors and the snowflake method and editing and much more. Now I just write when I’m inspired, and I let it flow.
About work: I worried about productivity and goals and action items and meetings and paperwork and the Pareto principle and the perfect desk and the perfect computer setup. Now I use simple tools, and do what I’m excited about.
The same is true of anything I’ve done. About finances, I just spend less than I earn, and have my bills paid automatically. About my site, I just write and publish and forget about comments and ads and stats and social networking. About my social life, I just meet with a friend and try to be present. I could go on all day, but you get the point.
When we start out with something, we usually will try everything. But as we learn, we can pare down ideas that we find out don’t matter. We’re left with the essentials.
A Little More of Less
A few other articles we think you might enjoy…
→ Ten Commandments of Minimalism by Carl Barenbrug & Manu Moreale
→ The Fir-Tree by Hans Christian Andersen
→ Why Our Most Valuable Gifts are Memories by Nikki Cox
Are any of your friends interested in minimalism or living simply?
If so, please invite them to subscribe.