Living for everyone else
Break free from others’ expectations
“Limitation makes the creative mind inventive.” — Walter Gropius
Living for everyone else
A lot of people don’t do minimalism because it doesn’t seem realistic for their lives. But what they often mean is that they don’t want others to think they’re weird.
Wearing the same clothes every day might seem weird to your friends and co-workers. Having no car might make you seem like an oddball. Not having a smartphone might make you uncool. Living in a small home or an RV might make everyone think you’re poor or crazy. Eating vegan food might make the meat eaters in your life groan or roll their eyes.
But who are we living for? I am all for living to help other people, but when we live our lives to the expectations of other people, we end up living lives we don’t want. And what do we get when we live up to the expectations of all these other people? They really don’t care—they just don’t like things different because they are uncomfortable with change. Staying the same as everyone else doesn’t make everyone else happier—it just doesn’t force them to reflect on their lives.
Where do these expectations come from, anyway? Other people didn’t just make them up—they are customs built up over the years, often very consciously by corporations trying to get us into expensive buying habits. For example, we have so many clothes, gadgets and other possessions because ads have sold us on the idea that we need clothing to look stylish, to be successful, to feel like a woman, to be as good as the people on TV. It wasn’t always this way, and it’s up to us to decide whether we want it to be that way from now on.
I’m not saying we should go live in the woods and ignore society (though that’s not a bad option). I live in society, and yet no one minds me wearing the same clothes all the time. People don’t go wild with anger when they hear that I’m not buying Christmas presents. I might get a raised eyebrow when they find out I don’t have cable TV or a car, and I might have to explain myself when they hear I’m a vegan, but no one gets mad at me and they go on with their lives. I sure go on with mine.
The way everyone else does things isn’t working. People aren’t happy with a life filled with possessions. Driving cars all the time adds to stress, makes people unhealthier, pollutes. People get unhealthy with their standard American diet. Just because everyone else thinks this is the way it should be done, doesn’t mean it’s the best way. Go against the stream—the other fish don’t know where they’re going either!
When it comes to others, be helpful, compassionate, grateful. But don’t live up to their expectations. You’ll be freed of the shackles of meaningless customs, so that you can live as you want.
Words by Leo Babauta
00: A deeper look at minimalism—our next premium essay arrives next week
We recently launched the Minimalism Life® premium newsletter, offering original essays, philosophical reflections, and case studies that challenge assumptions and explore how minimalism shapes creativity, culture, consumerism, and considered cultivation.
Next week, we’ll be publishing a new premium essay, continuing our deep dive into minimalism beyond the surface. If you’d like to explore these in-depth perspectives, you can subscribe for $5 per month or $50 per year and gain access to all premium editions.
01: Journal
Read entries from the archive of the Minimalism Life® community journal
Letting go of the worry — What it feels like to no longer worry about money
Words by Joshua Fields Millburn
The start — Hitting the reset button on our busy lives to experience the joy of less
Words by Chris Lovett
A simpler choice — Less choice, better decisions: The advantages of setting artificial boundaries
Words by Nicolas Magand
Share your story
Do you have an interesting story you would like to share on minimalism.com? We want to read about it. You have the opportunity write about your experience of how minimalism has impacted your life and get your words published in our community journal.
02: Minimal art
From our curated gallery
03: Minimal design
Explore our list of curated design resources
One task: to-do app (software/tool)
Le Corbusier's love for concrete (architecture/article)
What is: Brutalism? (architecture/video)
04: Minimal lifestyle
Explore our list of curated lifestyle resources for simple living
05: Shop
Discover our hand-picked minimalist products in the Minimalism Life® shop
06: Brands anchored by simplicity and sustainability
Minimalism can be about frugality and owning less, but it can also be about supporting ethical brands with sustainability at their core. Here’s several that you might be interested learning more about:
Collars&Co: Minimalist polo shirts
Dalgado: Timeless accessories made to last
JAK: Portuguese leather sneakers
Nordic Knots: Rugs inspired by the beauty of the Nordic light
Oliver Cabell: Minimalist Italian footwear and accessories
CDLP: Luxury essentials
The Resort Co: Eco-conscious and artisan vacation wear
Steele & Borough: Vegan, lightweight and water repellant bags
Escuyer: Accessories designed in Brussels
Wahts: Minimal monochromatic menswear
Meller: Minimal shades
Void Watches: Simple Swedish timepieces
Floyd: Unique and distinctive travel cases
ASKET: Ending fast fashion by making covetable everyday essentials
Mismo: Bags and accessories from natural materials
Stiksen: Premium caps from Sweden
Discover more minimal brands on minimalism.com
“A lot of people don’t do minimalism because it doesn’t seem realistic for their lives. But what they often mean is that they don’t want others to think they’re weird….”